I discovered the delights of MST back in Germany in late '94. A friend of mine in Canada was sending me care packages with sci-fi programmes in them to stave out the madness of having to watch German telly. Not speaking German is a big issue with that, and whilst the Germans seemed to be having fun on their programmes I couldn't really work out what was going on and was rapidly going insane. I digress. My friend slipped an NTSC tape with a couple of MST's on it in between my monthly dose of new Trek and Babylon 5. Not knowing what it was I fired it into the vid player and spent the next three hours wetting myself. It was Manos, The Hands of Fate, and Gorgo. I didn't understand half of the references, I couldn't work out what the whole thing with the robots was about, and Gypsy freaked me out, but I was intrigued. Fast forward a couple of years and in a drunken Amazon.com moment I came upon the MST movie. I hadn't at that point realized that MST was anything more than a couple of episodes, so I eagerly ordered the movie and a couple of boxsets, and was instantly hooked. Over the next couple of years I'd inflict the movie on every visitor who dared to stay at my house for more than 15 minutes.
Completely hooked I now scoured the web for more episodes... And found MST3Uk. After pinching myself a couple of times to make sure I wasn't suffering some form of flashback I trembling ordered a considerable amount of episodes, and sat by the door waiting for the postman. First one pack of ten arrived. Then another. Then another. I sat in the living room with a pile of 30 MST episodes on my lap and thought 'Screw it, time for some time off work'. Phoning work I booked the next three days off, plonked myself down in front of the telly with a catheter bag and a box of munchies (* may not be true) and started watching. Oh Lord it was good.... After thirty episodes I immediately ordered a few more, but out of the first batch the following truly stuck in my mind: The Projected Man - as a bonus I actually liked this piece of kitsch British sci-fi, but boy did Mike and the bots rip into the brits. They really had something about the range of items you can buy in a British chemist.... Soultaker - American Hair Metal gone bad, plus some very poor acting from a man who looks suspiciously like someone drained all the talent out of Martin Sheen (cough, Joe Estevez, cough). Not under any circumstances a watchable film by itself, but Mike and the bots make it a giggle and a half with some serious abuse to the 80's metal culture.
Future War - it's Jurassic Park minus the talent, fx and interesting story. Combine a Van Damme lookalike who makes Jean Claude look like a member of RADA with a kick-ass ex-hooker/druggie nun fighting pro-wrestlers in clown makeup and very, very poor rubber dinos and you *almost* don't need Mike and the bots.
Blood Waters of Dr.Z - odd scientist who looks like Torgo after a shower and a diet rants at the world and turns into a fish. Whoever green-lighted this one needs medication. It would have been scary but for the fact that the guy looked strangely like a man in a fish suit.
Werewolf - oh Lord what a beaut. Riffing was magnificent, and I literally had to pause it at the end during the credits to clear the tears from my face. If you haven't seen the Tusk moment at the end, get this one NOW. It is absolutely hysterical. Plus Were-Crow Mike is pretty freaky.
The Undead - I quite liked this movie, again probably because I'm sick, but the combination of Corman, Shakespeare and a seriously stoned midget is worth anyone's 90 minutes of fun. What was even funnier was that the bots laid into Leonard Maltin, who appears in one of the later episodes as a guest/hostage of Pearl. Squirm - oh, how this movie tried. It really tried to be something other than a poor horror movie involving a hero who would lose a fight with a continental quilt and a seriously rednecked set of characters. It's heart was in the right place, but wow, what a genuinely bad movie. Puma Man - this goes without description. You have to see this one just for the wonderfully inept special effects and the career death-dive of Donald Pleasance. After 30 episodes I started to think I was Crow. On the plus side I now have a spanking collection of MST to get me through the reality TV generation without having to see a single episode of Big Brother. MST3UK - you've saved the last vestige of my sanity. And for the record, the MST Marathon involved 6 hours of sleeping, lots of water and pee breaks, and the following episodes in watched order: The Projected Man, Soultaker, Future War, Final Justice, Blood Waters of Dr.Z, Track of the Moonbeast, The Horrors of Spider Island, It Lives By Night, Squirm (another gem!), Diabolik, Revenge of the Creature, Puma Man, Werewolf (TUSK!), The Deadly Bees (another Brit flick, riotous riffing), Gorgo, The Space Children, The Final Sacrifice (as Crow says, this one stinks of back bacon in a very Canadian way), Devil Fish, The Screaming Skull, Quest of the Delta Knights (Bad David Warner! Bad!), The Leech Woman, The Mole People (Alfred!), The Deadly Mantis, The Thing that Couldn't Die (spot the seriously Shakespeare wanna-be undead pirate), Terror from the Year 3000, The Undead (why the dwarf? Why??), The She Creature, I was a Teenage Werewolf, Parts - The Clonus Horror (actually a good film - to quote Tom Servo - 'Is this a bad film or am I just in a bad mood?'), Jack Frost (oh deary, deary me - bad Finland!) and Riding with Death. Ian 'Uther' Lawson uth@uther.net - ian.lawson@btinternet.com
"Sine Nomini Grex" - http://www.uther.net  Our Thanks (and 5 free episodes of his choice) Go To Uth for this fantastic
insight into his life!!!
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